I can't stay silent.

I can’t stay silent. In general - on this page, I try to advocate for womxn, mothers, children and our planet -  to spread a message of freedom, love and empowerment BUT I try to stay away from particular Political events and happening, as sometimes I find it too much, too overwhelming, too much of a reminder of the power of the patriarchy. It makes me too fueled by anger BUT this week has been another VERY challenging one and it will continue to be this way until our FIGHT ( by “our” I mean humans & more often than not womxn - and by “fight” I mean our collective up-leveling ) is done. 

icannotstaysilentabortion

After another school shooting ( which of course needs and deserves more mention than I can give it in this post) and the new laws passed in Georgia meaning that any mother who attempts to undergo an abortion after 6 weeks will face life in prison ( and any woman traversing a miscarriage - by wording of the ban, would also be impacted ), I and many others are left in a position where we are forced to speak up, to fight and let our fury be known. 

That said, in reality, I am not angry, I am devastated, bereaved, hurt, torn into bits, that I am living in a country where women’s rights are being reversed, where the concept of bringing life into this world is not fully understood, where women’s physical and mental health simply doesn’t matter. 

I haven’t had an abortion, but I could have had one. Earth was nearly aborted. When I fell pregnant at 25 I was unprepared, scared my mental health would not stand up, fearful about the world I was meant to raise a child in. I made an OB/GYN appointment at 7 weeks ( I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 5 weeks and 7 weeks was the first appointment I could be given !!!) and at the time didn’t know whether that appointment would be to have an abortion. 

The time I had and the choice I had, essentially made my journey into motherhood about freedom and that was the first piece in the puzzle to a successful right of passage into parenthood. If I hadn’t had that choice I would have felt trapped and imprisoned by the baby in my body. 

At 25 I was unprepared but if it had been a few years earlier I would have been unable to care for a child. I would still have been in recovery from a sever mental illness, financially unstable (even more so than at 25), in patterns of drug and alcohol abuse and still deeply affected by trauma. Birthing a child would not have been safe for me or the baby coming into the world.

At 20 I had a miscarriage, and although I was thoroughly unprepared and unstable, I blamed myself heavily for the passing though of that embryo and it affected me deeply. If I also had a culture against me, making me believe that it was me against the child then maybe I would not have pulled through.

The fact is, that abortion, as well as miscarriage happens for many reasons and it is familiar in many women’s lives. Abortion is never an easy choice and outcomes always affect the mother, as do miscarriages, but most womxn have to trust in there intuition deeply and do understand that the actions, whether they chose to abort or not, will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Sometime abortion is the only option, and by taking that choice away from women, the patriarchy is acknowledging that womxn’s lives don’t matter.

I want to remind you that love always wins. There are many stories of babies being born after abortion (or miscarriage) and the children growing up have a strong sense they are the same spirit as the embryo’s or fetus’ that before them passed. My mother had several miscarriages before me and I have memories of another light or life, sometimes I wonder if this light was the light I saw in my mother’s womb through the eyelids of another.

Is life determined by the beating of a heart or an abundant and infinite love, of the spirit, of waiting to be birthed at the right time so we can fulfill our destiny in the right way.

Love wins. Life wins … but it appears right now, we need to take our time in getting that battle won.